Unapologetically and Honestly Loving Others with Reckless Abandon

Its Christmas Eve and I am so excited to see what these next few hours bring. I know that God is calling me to do some warfare for friends at this time and I am just so honored to be able to do that. I love it when God uses me. I love that I can help others get closer to God just by praying for them and I love that He hears me and knows my voice. Thank you Father for knowing my voice. Thank you that you hear my prayers. Whether it be for a friend or not I am honored that you hear me and see my heart in it all. As the house settles down from a wonderful time of fellowship and fun, Everyone settles in for the night and I pull out my computer so that I can allow myself the time in the stillness to hear Gods heart for you today. There are so many things that can get in the way of what God wants to do in your life today. God wants communion with you, and he desires for you to include him in all the things that you do. I wonder that if you were as aware of God as He is of you if you would do...

So tonight I went to the beach with a friend and God spoke and met us there in a new way. Her and I have been praying for God to move in a new way and for us he is. We have been praying that he would reveal to us things and that he would confirm them to us and to others. Thank you Lord that you hear our prayers. Thank you Lord that you desire to give us insight to things you are doing and are about to do. Thank you that you love us that much! So we were sitting there talking and reading each other scriptures that God was revealing to us and he then spoke very clearly. He said to her, "Just as the wind is blowing in your direction so I am blowing those things to you and just as the waves are crashing one right after the other that is how these things are coming." YAY!!! Thank you Father God for speaking those things to us. Thank you so much for allowing us to hear you and for us to be able to stand in that when everything else around us seems to want to say no. I say this with...

I've got the sweet victory in Jesus! Today it is raining and I am here thinking about all the things that I am facing in the next few days. I know that God is moving and I know that God is bigger than the storm I am facing today. He says to me to keep my eyes on Him and allow the waves to crash around me and to remain faithful in all he asks of me. Thank you Jesus that you choose to even talk to me. Thank you that you are moving and shaking things today. There is something different about today and I know that His mighty power is going to change things for me so that I don't have to worry about anything but Loving my King. I just need to keep focused on the fact that I am here and I am walking to my victory. We are victorious as we walk through these things in our lives that show us who we really are. I just want to come out as pure Gold! I want God to see that I will be faithful to the end. I Thank you Lord that I am able to stand here today and look back and see that you have...

I love when God stretches my faith and allows me to see all that he is taking out of me so that new stuff can be put in. I love that God is showing me that things in this life should only be trivial compared to the Glory of who He is. I love that no matter what my best interest is all he has in mind, Even if my best interest isn't what I want. These past few days God has really been stretching me to see my reactions and to see how things will happen. I know that no matter the outcome he desires for me to change and be more like him. I love it and I can't wait to see the results of this trial. Yes in the mean time it is hard to walk through and there are moments that I feel like I can't go on, or that I just want it to be over, yet in that I remember to enjoy the process. I always want to take the bad with the good and not just be thankful for the easy stuff in my life. I want to be just as grateful for the tough stuff because that is what makes you stronger and changes yo...

This past weekend I got to spend some time with a really good friend of mine. She is an amazing person and I know that when it comes to age she is younger yet when it comes to maturity in the Lord she is right there with me. I love it!!! I am learning from her in ways that only come from God! It is amazing. I am just so blessed by her every time she opens her mouth and I get to spend time with her. I know that if you knew her like I do you would feel the same way. I know that God has placed us together for such a time as this. I know that she is going to be in my life for the rest of it! I love her heart in everything she experiences. I love that the Lord speaks to her in ways that are so clear and so amazing. I love her Faith in Christ and how she sees him. I got to know her better by being able to spend this time with her and I can't wait to see God fulfill the promises to her he has made. I know that she is growing and maturing in new ways everyday and I love being able to be co...

There are things that happen in life that you can't control and then there are things that happen that you can control. So how do you know when to step in and when to let go? How do you tell your friend that they aren't acting right and when do you leave that up to God? When do you step in to help a friend that is on a downward spiral and when do you let God be their savior and realize you are not? The only answer that I have for that is seek God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and let him lead and guide you! Allow him to show you when to speak and when to remain silent, when to point out things to them and when to refrain. I believe that when you are more attentive to what God wants to do or say to someone, healing can come from that. I know that for me, I have been in situations when I have wanted to share something and yet felt that tug on my heart to remain silent. I can honestly say that I haven't always taken my own advice and remained silent, but when I ...

"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1  How cool is that, that God has things planned so long ago and yet in all the time that passes from planning to now, he remains faithful to you. I love how amazingly faithful God is to us every day. Today I was reminded of that as I was in worship. God showed up, I mean in a new way. It was a really amazing thing to see that since I haven't seen my church walk in that ever. See I believe in the gifts and moving of the Holy Spirit accurately and appropriately. Due to some past hurts and pains that my dad has experienced he is a bit more stand offish about that. I am all about it and desire for us all to move in the gifts but I do realize that there is a maturity that has to be there as well. See about 14 years ago something that was I believe meant to encourage believers came to our church and hurt a lot of peopl...

Tough times are apart of us all. Whether we are young and fighting with a friend about a toy or we are older and fighting with the mirror about how we look. I know that things in this day and age are so different than even what our parents had to grow up with and endure at our age. I was talking with a friend the other night about how different our culture is even just from our parents and how much more sex and filth we are bombarded with daily. If it isn't a sleezy billboard, magazine or commercial, its in the clothing stores and on T.V. I am so tired of having to try and compare and compete with those images that guys so easily compare us to. It makes it hard to ever feel beautiful or pretty about yourself ever when the image of beauty portrait is not what I look like or any regular girl in school. I know that alot of my friends struggle with this more than I do but it never makes it easier. I have always believed that God made me exactly this way for a reason and so I need to be...

So how can you draw strength from God when you feel like you don't even have the strength to ask? This has been a puzzling question for me lately because not having enough strength to make it to the next breathe, that is something I am learning well. I have thought many times before this day that I was definitely at the end of my rope. Yet I endured more and life went on even when I was in the midst of pain. Then things would be easy for a while and then again, hit with more pain. I would feel at the end of myself again and then again I would still go on. This has been my life cycle for the past few years. When God desires to birth something through you and he desires to allow you to walk out your dreams, you come to the end of yourself ALOT! And I mean ALOT!!! These past few years have truly been a roller coaster that I have many times wanted to halt just to catch my breath but that isn't how life works. You endure something and you have to find the moments in that storm to ca...

Tonight was one of those nights that I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy, well on Satan but no one else. The ache in my heart and the pain I feel even now, after the shower of God's peace cleans up, continues to bring tears to my eyes. I love God with all that I am and I have fully dedicated my life to do what He has called me to do even when it seems crazy and isn't the popular thing to do. I know that to others I look as if I am a failure and that I look to be a wondering child, when the reality is that I am right where I am supposed to be. I know this because everyday the fight in me gets stronger to do what God has called of me, and yet my circumstances want to lie and say otherwise. I don't want to be a victim to my circumstances. God didn't create me to be restrained by my circumstances, I am to be free from them and see them as trivial in certain areas. I am not sure that even in all the human words there are that I will be able to explain this well, but I...

Today seems to be one of those days where your shoes don't feel right on, your wanting things to go one way and they take a turn, you are happy to be alive and yet something/someone is pushing you to be upset instead. I can feel the struggle today!!! I feel it most days but for some reason I feel the fight stronger today and I know that there HAS to be something UNSEEN going on. These days are alot of times to strengthen us but also there is an underlined battle, the unseen things that cause the seen things to be harder. If you aren't understanding what I mean or if you don't seem to grasp it fully hear me out. Today is NEW full of life, adventure, new encounters and new discoveries, yet YESTERDAY seems to still try and linger when it is no longer welcome. This day is new, my bible says it is, and still the past wants to hold on as if it has a right to. Well it doesn't and in this struggle of who wins today we feel this fight when someone doesn't agree with your cho...

I know it has been a long time since I have done this so HERE WE GO!!!!! Ok so at this moment in my life God is testing my faith in a new way. I know that we always need to be stretched or we get complacent. I really have been blessed by how God is allowing things that I know I have been praying for so long to happen, are happening. YAY!!!! Thank you Jesus. Just small things like getting an unexpected opportunity to spend some time with old friends. Its amazing to get to play with little children who love you just because of who you are. I love that! It is just such a blessing to be able to see how amazing God is and how involved He desires to be in our daily lives. I am learning more how to allow him to be apart of everything I do and including him in my life. I am just so blessed to be in this place at this time. I love Him for wanting to be apart of it all. I desire to bring him more and more in my daily activities. Maybe that is something we need to ask him about, what does he desi...

Today I got a glimpse into some people who I thought were changing and to see that they aren't makes me want to test my own heart. I never want to be one of those people who doesn't allow others to change and yet who wants to keep them in a box that I have placed them in. I want to allow others to grow and let them change at their own pace. I have someone I know who is close to me that has been trying to change and yet they can't seem to really LET GO of all they need to. There is a person in their life that they hold on to even if it isn't good for them. I love this person so very much but I know that I need to allow them to change and make their own choices. I can't do it for them, I can't tell them what to do even though I want to and require them to change. As they allow me to be that way, I need to give them the same grace. Although, how do you do that with someone you care about and want to see them freed, once and for all, of all the things that hold them...

Ok so walking in Gods will isn't EVER easy but it is ALWAYS RIGHT!!! I have to make sure that my attitude and my mind is in the right place when I make choices that don't seem very logical. I understand that God works in mysterious ways, so who can't I make a choice that is causing me to take a leap of faith and totally trust God, instead of just getting by on yesterdays MANNA! I want to live on new manna, fresh, just for today. I have a hard time when God confirms things over and over again, that this is what I am supposed to be doing and yet, I know it is going to be scary and hard. Even now as I write this, God shows me that his favor and his faithfulness are here. My friend told me that as long as your heart is in the right place and you are doing all you can to please God he will lead you. You can't go wrong, but you can fall, the whole point of our walk is to see how we respond when we fall, and where we go. I know for a fact that God himself has been speaking to ...

Well Here I go!!! God spoke to me today and no matter what you think, I know he did. No matter what I think or how I feel, when God talks, I listen...I decided along time ago that no matter what I would obey His voice. So that is what I am doing! Its called walking by Faith, and not by sight. I am stepping out of the boat and I am going to walk on water like PETER did!!! I am going to WALK ON WATER!!!! Its also very hard when others don't understand or didn't hear what you did. I know that I don't have to answer to anyone except God in reality, but sometimes it is also important to have enough respect for the circumstance to explain your decisions. I am taking back my life from others who I feel like I have allowed the role I should have assumed along time ago. I am reclaiming MY LIFE! Not to live for me, or to waste as I did before but to live it the way I was meant to, In total surrender and worship to God. I know that I am ready, willing and able to do what God has calle...

My Child, Please allow me to share with you my heart for you, some may be hard to read but know that I have your best interest at heart and I love you, deeply. Thank you for allowing me to bare your burdens, Thank you for crying out to me from the depths of your soul. Know that I AM Holy and Just, as well as the Lover of your soul. I AM as consistent as the waves. I love you with an everlasting love, love that will not falter with the wind and will not die or grow cold. It will not fade with years gone by, change with the seasons, or lessen by your choices. I love you with all that I AM and I love you with all that I know you can be. There is so much more for you My Love, there is a depth that you could never imagine, I want to take you to. There are things in you that I know you want to change NOW but please allow me to do what I need, so that you can see things differently. I know that you are afraid to let go with all of you and just trust. I know that holding on to the past will n...

This morning I was awaken to some amazing songs in worship, and I was just so blessed. Then I realized what time it was and that I needed to get up and be to work early. I know that things aren't always how they seem and there are devised intentions in others to either go after or protect. I know that there are things in life that aren't to be taken lightly yet others need to be taken with a grain of salt. I know that in life you can have a great moment, even during the wee hours in worship, and the next get ambushed. I know that our stuggle isn't against flesh and blood, but against the prince of palities and powers of this dark world. I know that and yet there are moments, not that I forget, but that I just need something physical to make responsible. I want to not be so concerned with the name that I have, as I am concerned as the name that I CARRY with me! I hope you understand the difference. I want to make sure that the name that I carry with me isn't tainted by m...

I am realizing that things in my life are changing and different than I would have planned but I am so glad that they are better than I would have thought. I love my life even if things aren't how I planned, and even if things are rough. I have an inspiration to be a better person. Even tonight we were talking and I realized that I am sometimes hard on me and others and I want to allow others to be themselves. It shouldn't matter because others let me be me so I need to let them have the same grace. I desire to love others that way. I have such an example and I love that I am learning so much more. I love it. I want to be better, I want to love more and I want to show others how to do that. I love that God is showing me more of himself. Especially when it is in other people, and reflecting God's heart for others. I am just so blessed to have that kind of example in my life. Our conversations are always encouraging to me and I love that there is so much understanding. I am j...

I am reading this amazing book and although it is taking all of my brain power and challenging me to read better, it has opened my eyes to a new side of Spiritual Warfare. I have only gone through the first 25 pages or so and I am already seeing things that happen in prayer and battle that is so common. I am seeing things that can be portrayed as trivial and are in reality things that can lead us away from the throne room one little inch at a time. I like this quote in it by C.S. Lewis, "At the very least, they can be persuaded that the bodily position makes no difference to their prayers; for they constantly forget, what you must always remember, that they are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls. Its funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds; in reality our best work is done by keeping things out." (The Screwtape Letters) This is such an amazing way to look at prayer. That we can be so focused on not being in a physical ...

Sharing your heart can sometimes mean that you have to expose things in you that need to be transparent but can also be difficult to admit. I know that not everyone can do that and not everyone can admit that as a requirement to this you need to be transparent. I have always been taught how to be transparent and so I am not sure how to live without that. Even when I wasn't doing so well in the Lord I was still transparent. Like I said, I don't know how not to be. I think some people are afraid of living that way. It isn't an easy thing to be transparent. It isn't easy to live that way and let others in. I know it is a learning process but please don't hesitate to do that. I have people that I run into everyday and they tend to beat around the bush or hide a part of who they are, which is their right but I also think about others who might need to see that side of them. I am not saying that I need to see that side of everyone but I do know that seeing in others the a...

As a little girl I was afraid of EVERYTHING! Seriously, I was honestly afraid of even my own shadow, and I can't tell you how many of my mom's shoes I busted. I was terrified of everything and yet in my room late at night I would do spiritual warfare at 4 and 5 years old. I am not sure how come those things didn't frighten me, but maybe it is because I was to be a warrior as an adult and I needed to train and practice. I am not sure but I do know that now as an adult it did help me over come things. I remember being so afraid that I wouldn't face a certain direction when I slept because it faced the street and I had bad dreams when I slept that way. I am telling you, afraid of everything. Part of the problem was that my mom would tell me of the evil in the world so that I would be aware and yet all that did was make me more fearful. Things like fear WILL get passed on to your children and that is a hard one to fight. One time when we were living at my gramdmothers house...

Endurance is something I normally associate with sports, but really in the bible endurance is something that is to wait out the storm to wait it out and know that things will change. Waiting for things to change but just sitting back and riding out the storm. I have endured a lot of things but what does that really show about my character? Nothing except that I know how to wait things out sometimes. That I can sit back and ride the wave, or have a bit of patience for things to change. Although endurance is good in sports and beneficial when you need to wait on something, it isn't what defines character. It isn't what makes good stories. Who wants to sit and listen to someone tell you a story about them sitting and waiting for things to change, who wants to tell a story like that? I sure don't. When I tell a story I want it to be a good story but Epic stories like the Titanic come from something other than endurance. If those people on the boat would have done nothing but en...

How do we know forsure that we hear the voice of the Lord? How can we tell that the way we are walking is right? How can we know with out a doubt that the dreams we have are God's way of talking to us? How can we know that we are walking into a new season? How can we be sure that the life that we are moving into is all that God has promised? How can we know that when the world says, "No." God still says, "YES!" How can we be sure of those things? How can we know that we are truly forgiven and that these next steps of our life is going to change the course of history if we hold on? How can we know that the visions we see and the things in the spirit world are happening in the physical just the same, and sometime the physical needs to catch up? How can we be sure that the things we see with our physical eyes, isn't all there is? FAITH, being SURE of what you hope for and the evidence of things unseen. But really what is that when the world seems to be crumblin...

I have a very good friend of mine who is going through some hard things. She is an amazing person and when the world sees her they are going to see Jesus. She is hard working and she just wants to be apart of making a difference. She is kind hearted and she is loving to all she meets. She has a genuine smile and wants to truly see lives changed. I have known her for a very long time, I have seen the joys and pain of life with her. I have seen the best moments and worst with her. There are things her and I went through together that no one else would understand, I see her having a hard time with the things that God has shown her. I see that life at this moment is seeming to take its toll on her heart, but only for a moment. She knows where her hope lies and she knows that she is safe in the loving arms of Jesus, but the emotion at times seems to great. I know that in her heart she just wants God to allow her to bless others. She is amazing and I know that she loves Jesus with all that s...

"A w arrior is one who is engaged aggressively in or experienced in battle. A warrior possesses the dedication that money can't buy. A warrior is someone who fights, not because of what [he/]she is getting out of it, but because of what [he/]she can give. A warrior is a soldier with a "die for the cause" attitude. A warrior will do whatever it takes to ensure victory. A soldier signs up to join the fight; a warrior stays until it is finished." -Warrior Chicks, Holly Wagner Wow! That is the kind of warrior I want to be, I want to fight for my friends and family. I want to see victory for them, and I will fight to the death for them all. I want to see freedom and I want to have them become warriors and fight too for others. I know this may seem silly but I totally believe that as a child of God that is my duty. I can either sit in the stands and be a spectator, which there are always more spectators than players in a game, or I can choose to be in the midst of ...