Unapologetically and Honestly Loving Others with Reckless Abandon

Sharing your heart can sometimes mean that you have to expose things in you that need to be transparent but can also be difficult to admit. I know that not everyone can do that and not everyone can admit that as a requirement to this you need to be transparent. I have always been taught how to be transparent and so I am not sure how to live without that. Even when I wasn't doing so well in the Lord I was still transparent. Like I said, I don't know how not to be. I think some people are afraid of living that way. It isn't an easy thing to be transparent. It isn't easy to live that way and let others in. I know it is a learning process but please don't hesitate to do that. I have people that I run into everyday and they tend to beat around the bush or hide a part of who they are, which is their right but I also think about others who might need to see that side of them. I am not saying that I need to see that side of everyone but I do know that seeing in others the a...

As a little girl I was afraid of EVERYTHING! Seriously, I was honestly afraid of even my own shadow, and I can't tell you how many of my mom's shoes I busted. I was terrified of everything and yet in my room late at night I would do spiritual warfare at 4 and 5 years old. I am not sure how come those things didn't frighten me, but maybe it is because I was to be a warrior as an adult and I needed to train and practice. I am not sure but I do know that now as an adult it did help me over come things. I remember being so afraid that I wouldn't face a certain direction when I slept because it faced the street and I had bad dreams when I slept that way. I am telling you, afraid of everything. Part of the problem was that my mom would tell me of the evil in the world so that I would be aware and yet all that did was make me more fearful. Things like fear WILL get passed on to your children and that is a hard one to fight. One time when we were living at my gramdmothers house...

Endurance is something I normally associate with sports, but really in the bible endurance is something that is to wait out the storm to wait it out and know that things will change. Waiting for things to change but just sitting back and riding out the storm. I have endured a lot of things but what does that really show about my character? Nothing except that I know how to wait things out sometimes. That I can sit back and ride the wave, or have a bit of patience for things to change. Although endurance is good in sports and beneficial when you need to wait on something, it isn't what defines character. It isn't what makes good stories. Who wants to sit and listen to someone tell you a story about them sitting and waiting for things to change, who wants to tell a story like that? I sure don't. When I tell a story I want it to be a good story but Epic stories like the Titanic come from something other than endurance. If those people on the boat would have done nothing but en...

How do we know forsure that we hear the voice of the Lord? How can we tell that the way we are walking is right? How can we know with out a doubt that the dreams we have are God's way of talking to us? How can we know that we are walking into a new season? How can we be sure that the life that we are moving into is all that God has promised? How can we know that when the world says, "No." God still says, "YES!" How can we be sure of those things? How can we know that we are truly forgiven and that these next steps of our life is going to change the course of history if we hold on? How can we know that the visions we see and the things in the spirit world are happening in the physical just the same, and sometime the physical needs to catch up? How can we be sure that the things we see with our physical eyes, isn't all there is? FAITH, being SURE of what you hope for and the evidence of things unseen. But really what is that when the world seems to be crumblin...

I have a very good friend of mine who is going through some hard things. She is an amazing person and when the world sees her they are going to see Jesus. She is hard working and she just wants to be apart of making a difference. She is kind hearted and she is loving to all she meets. She has a genuine smile and wants to truly see lives changed. I have known her for a very long time, I have seen the joys and pain of life with her. I have seen the best moments and worst with her. There are things her and I went through together that no one else would understand, I see her having a hard time with the things that God has shown her. I see that life at this moment is seeming to take its toll on her heart, but only for a moment. She knows where her hope lies and she knows that she is safe in the loving arms of Jesus, but the emotion at times seems to great. I know that in her heart she just wants God to allow her to bless others. She is amazing and I know that she loves Jesus with all that s...

"A w arrior is one who is engaged aggressively in or experienced in battle. A warrior possesses the dedication that money can't buy. A warrior is someone who fights, not because of what [he/]she is getting out of it, but because of what [he/]she can give. A warrior is a soldier with a "die for the cause" attitude. A warrior will do whatever it takes to ensure victory. A soldier signs up to join the fight; a warrior stays until it is finished." -Warrior Chicks, Holly Wagner Wow! That is the kind of warrior I want to be, I want to fight for my friends and family. I want to see victory for them, and I will fight to the death for them all. I want to see freedom and I want to have them become warriors and fight too for others. I know this may seem silly but I totally believe that as a child of God that is my duty. I can either sit in the stands and be a spectator, which there are always more spectators than players in a game, or I can choose to be in the midst of ...

It has really been on my heart lately that I need to make sure that I am giving my all to everything and that I am bringing out the best in others. There are so many things that require our attention and we have so many things always pulling and tugging at us. I want to make sure that in all the hats that I wear, friend, sister, daughter, worship leader, employee, daughter of the King, that I always am bringing out the best in others. I want to see the things that God calls precious in everyone and bring them out in all that I meet. I know that sometimes we are blinded by what we think we see in others. I also know that hurt, pain, rejection, lies, fear,  and our selfishness can get in the way of letting us see the best in others. I know that fear is a big one and maybe it should be first because I am a firm believer that fear is what drives most of the other reactions, the fear of being less than someone else, the fear of being rejected, the fear of being inferior, and I believe it i...

There are people in my life that bring out the best in me. There are also people who bring out my worst. Do you have anyone like that? Do you understand what I mean? I have people who bring out the qualities that God has given me to help others, love others and to shine his light to the world. Then I have others who bring out the rebellious, hurtful, selfish side of me. I love all the people in my life but I do also know that I can't spend too much time with the latter. I know that when I am around them for too long the things of this world creep in and they try to settle there. I know that because I lived there for a while they seem to settle much more quickly than I remember, they seem to take root alot faster at times. I notice that they don't need watering or attention, but the lack of attention you give them they seem to grow at a rapid rate. I know that if you aren't careful they will tend to take over the good that is in your life. I have seen it many times in others...

Here I am once again, Here I let it go, back at the beginning, Where I started from. Where did I go wrong? What corner did I not turn in my journey to make me need to come back? If you look my child this isn't the beginning Just because it looks familiar doesn't mean it's the same. Its close and I'm giving you another Opportunity to do it right AGAIN. This time someone else needs you. Others need in you the things I have given and shown you. Others need my touch that you so desire to be. Lord I am unworthy to do this I am not Holy enough to be all those things, again. I have made you worthy and I made you Holy, You are, because of me. I want to love others, I want to serve them, I want your face to shine down upon them, I want them to see ONLY you. I see your heart and know it well I created it. I put those desires in you, Thank you for being obedient please continue and you will see miracles more than you could ever imagine. Thank you for this opportunity Thank you th...

Today I woke up early to hear the pounding of hammers and cutting of trees. Half asleep I was unaware if I was still comatose or actually awake. I saw the beautiful sunlight hit the carpet in the room I have made my home for the past few days. I knew today would bring forth life in all aspects for me. I did a few things and then realized I was almost an hour early for work so I laid back down to catch up on a few more zzzzzz's when there it was, that tug on my heart that seems to me continuous to pray. Uncovering myself from this warm bed I was in, and obedient to the call I never want to ignore, I climbed out and got on my face before my creator. I know this position well, especially lately when my family and friends are in need. I don't tell you any of this to boast in myself. Believe me I wanted to sleep, but I know that Christ in me wouldn't have let it be a restful sleep. If I would have fought him I would have eventually done it and not reaped all the benefits of jus...

Thank you Jesus for change, change of attitudes, situations, people, lives, surroundings, careers, families, friends, hearts, and change itself. Last night you Lord asked me to pray about something to change me. I know that you want me to rush to your feet and lift others to you. I want to not let my flesh get in the way like it does at times, Help me to be quick, to be faster at running to your feet and laying it all down, AGAIN! Thank you that even in those places you meet us. Thank you that no matter what I do nothing can separate me from your love. Thank you so much. Thank you for speaking to me when I need an attitude adjustment and thank you that you reveal things to me that are what I need to hear at that particular time. Thank you for loving me through it all. Thank you for showing me that you have me here, "For such a time as this." Esther 4:14 Thank you Jesus, Thank you for molding me, even as a young girl, and making me with the people that you have made my lifeti...

There are so many days that just pass by without a thought or a strain, then there are days like today. When I feel like everything is stressful and intense. I know that days like this happen and we tend to try and just make it through them with nothing but an ounce of sanity. Well I choose to not walk in this day like that, I want to be victorious, I want to enjoy today and appreciate that I feel that stress or pressure. I want to appreciate the fact that I honestly have another day to live and please the Lord. I want to honor him with my attitude today and so I want to make sure that I am being thankful even for the though stuff. I know that today isn’t going to be forever and things will change. I just woke up this morning with a sad outlook and I command my soul to praise the Lord. I command my spirit to rise up and do what I was created to do. I see this as such an opportunity to bless others and to learn things about myself that sometimes I seem to forget or miss. I want others t...

This is so cool! I love that this is the image that we get when we pray. I know that for me pictures always help me understand alittle more about what I already know to be true. I am very visual and I am totally hands on when it comes to learning. I think that is why I love putting pictures on here so much. I enjoy praying with others and for them as well. This is just such an image of things unseen. Thank you Lord that we don't always see the things in the spirit. Although this would be cool to see. Sometimes I think that seeing those things though might scare me and I don't think I would sleep if I saw those things. The other night I was driving home from my friends house and I was worshiping in the car, radio blasting, and then I had a thought. Lord, I am sitting here imagining holding your hand and just loving on you. How cool would it be to see just your eyes as if you were just sitting there in the car next to me. Then I realized what I was asking and I honestly think tha...

I love this picture, there is something so refreshing about knowing that the weapons that I used to fight with aren't made by flesh and blood. They fight the evil in the darkness, yet they are forged in the light. There is such freedom in being able to picture what is going on in the spirit. I love it. In Romans 8 and in Ephesians 6 are two chapters that come to mind when I look at this picture. We aren't waging war against flesh and blood, and we aren't wrestling with anything but Evil. Whether it be in us, or the evil around us that lurks at every corner. I like that this picture shows that there is a power that she has not in and of herself but she has it and she stands against the darkness. This is my prayer tonight that we would all be able to stand against the dark forces of evil. It is hard and I know that it is sometimes easier to give up but we can't. That is not what we are called to do. We have to fight, fight for us, for others, because we are already on the...

Yesterday was a struggle, not in the flesh but in the spirit. I could feel that it was as I went to bed the night before. I was asked by my Gracious Heavenly Father to stay up and fight. So as obedient as I could be I did all I could to stay awake and fight for the others in my life that needed it. I fought for salvation for some, for lives of others, for Christ to do BIG things even still for others. I know that this isn't something that happens all the time, well atleast for some but I have felt tired today. When you engage in warfare, mentally it takes alot out of you. It requires all of you and it requires you to be selfless, I love to be engaged in warfare for others but I know that they also need to be ready to change. I realize that things don't happen always overnight. I know that I would love for them to but I know that isn't the case. I want my family and friends to know that I will do this anytime I am asked to by the Lord. I want them to see Jesus and I want to ...

Why do you let people treat you like you do? I know you have an amazing heart and just want everyone you love to get along and love each other too. Believe me when I say that I am exactly like that too. I want the ones I love to accept the other ones and I just want everyone to get along so I understand how you feel. I see your heart, but I am protective of you, if you haven’t noticed. I want others to see you that way too. I know that not everyone gets to see you for who you are like I do and I know that not everyone should, thanks for that. I do get concerned though when I see that others take advantage of you. I know that you love them and you desire the best out of them too, but sometimes loving them means you have to let go. Sometimes loving them means tough love too! I am learning how to do that, trust me it isn’t easy but I want to keep reminding you that I see a lot of me in you and so I know why you do this. I see your heart and how truly loving you are, I see you changing and...

Sitting here at the end of the day, when only a few people are here left in this office and I read things that my Godly friends write. I love when you see growth in others that you love and are around. I love to see God take shape in human form and in the lives of others. I am reminded that too often we take forgranted the time we get to share with them. I have a friend who lost her father last week. I know that he is in heaven with his Lord and his son, and I am blessed by her amazing courage and amazing love for Jesus. I see it and know that God has given her an abundance of grace. I remember a few years ago when her and I were talking about her fathers illness and she even told me, "I don't think my dad will live much longer. I just feel like I don't have much more time with him left." It broke my heart to hear her say that and to know that she was probably right. It seems like just yesterday when she made that statement to me. Now I look back and see that God brou...

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:28-33 What is beauty? To different people it means different things. To some beauty is having good hair, stylish clothes, being skinny, always looking like you have it together, and having a pretty face. Some even change their face and bodies so that they can look beautiful. So if beauty is on the outside...

There are so many people that I truly love. Some are harder to love than others but no matter what I do love them. I could write about them all but for now I want to write about these two who have loved me like family. One of them I have known my whole life, or should I say has known me. The other I have known since I was in Jr. High. Each has loved me unconditionally, given me advice when I needed it, listened while I vent, prayed for me while we laugh and cry together, walked with my through my teen years, sang with me when I didn’t deserve to worship God, and done more than I can put into words. Even more than any of those other things they have been examples of who Jesus is and what He can do in a life, opened up their home to me, and called me family. They have allowed me to love their children and entrusted me with their lives too. I am so grateful that they love me this way. I am so grateful to the Lord that he has allowed us to be close and that they are family to me as well. I...

There is someone who sticks closer than a brother. He loves you, he created you, He wants an amazing relationship with you. He wants sweet communion with you. I was amazed at the reality of communion I discovered recently. In Jewish culture communion is done as a proposal as well as being cleansed. When a man wanted to be betrothed to a woman he would offer her food and wine if she accepted his proposal then she would take the wine and drink it, if not then she would give it back to him. If she accepted the wine and drank than He would go to his fathers house add on a living place for them and then once that was done, come back for his Bride. I love that the things Jesus did in the bible were so much apart of the culture and now can also take on new meaning to us. I have always heard that we are the Bride of Christ and that we are waiting for his return. I have always heard that forty days after Jesus rose from the dead, he told his that he was going to prepare a place for us. It made ...

Today was a great day! I woke up and got to share the day with family and friends. It was amazing to see how things worked out. We had our church picnic today and we just enjoyed the fellowship. I love going with my family and then I was able to hang out with my sister. I am just so blessed to see her growing in God. For over two years I have been dragging her into the Throne Room of God, unbenounced to her and doing this very often. Well at the beginning of May my prayer and warfare paid off, atleast started to. I am just so blessed to see her finally walking in freedom like never before. I am just so excited to see how much God is changing her and making His home in her too! I am just so excited to see what God is going to do next. It makes me want to be better for her sake and it makes me want to show her more of Jesus. I love that she is almost on a crash course so that God can get her up to where it is necessary so that we can move forward and pray for others. I love that I can s...

I was just reading an earlier post of mine and I realized something. The pieces of my heart that I have been waiting for to return. They are back and in human form. There have been alot I have been praying about and I realized that they are up walking around in the flesh. I get to interact with them everyday and I get to love on them when they are close. I get to experience life with them and explore new things. I love it and I feel like me but better again. I know that day by day things change and feelings go up and down for most of us. But I have chosen not to live off of what I feel and to accept that what God has for me is bigger than how I feel. I am in the process of learning how to let my emotions, my logic, my wisdom, and my heart all line up together. I am the type of person that would love to set aside my emotions so that others will be ok. I would rather not have to feel things and just do them because it is my responsibility. I know that isn't how God made us but to ...

Today is so bright and beautiful, with so many new and fresh opportunities. I don't want to miss any of them. I love to be standing at the doorway of a new day and see all that this day could hold. The loving words of a friend, the smile of someone you don't know, the gentle breeze on your face, the sun shinning on you, the way the day smells as it begins to unfold. I know not all days are as peaceful. Some days are filled with strife, hurt, anger, deception, lies, and pain. But with all that, the reason that I love the start of a day so much is that the day before has past, the rough night has somehow lessened as the morning begins. I also love that the hard times, pain and all that went with the previous day can be looked at with a new view and with a new set of eyes. To hold new dreams and visions, to know that today can be better, to see that life moves on, that good things can come to you even if the day before brought pain. There are days like today when you can see it as...

Life is so interesting in the ways that it seems to work. I thought last year at this time I had everything all figured out. I knew what God was going to do and I knew that things were going to end up a certain way. Can I just say, God knows best EVERYTIME! I know that He sees my heart in the waiting and he sees me in this day resting too. I know that eventhough last year I thought I figured it out and had a path set before me, once again, God changed me and through this changed possibilities in my life. This year has truly been alittle easier than the last. Only because I was fighting myself for so long that one day I looked up and it was over. I am now trying to just enjoy moments whether good or bad. I want to make sure that I feel everything so that I can always look back and know that whether good or bad, I felt it. Whether it is the sweet sting of lonliness, or the smiling embrace of a child. I want to feel it all. The sadness that comes when someone who shares your heart and kno...

You bring tears to my eyes, some are happy, some are sad, but never are they painful tears. I am so proud of you. I see you for who you are and want to help your life change. I know it isn't my job to rescue you because that will only temporarily fix things but I want to be apart of the solution. I am not your Savior, you need to let Jesus do that for you. But one thing I can do is help out when you need me, to be a listening ear for you, love on you as much as possible and point you in the right direction. Problems will come and I will face them with you. You don't ever have to do this alone. I know you feel it, the tug on your heart. I know you see how things can change, but I also know it is scary. It is definately ahrd when you don't know what the future holds. We each have gone through rough patches and we each have been totally alone. The thing that doesn't change iabout it all is that we need eachother. Maybe in different ways but it is still there. You truly are...

Love, this word can stir so many emotions, I am not sure any other word in language provokes what this does. You always hear of it being good until someone gets hurt by another they loved. Some have given up on it. Others helplessly wait for it. Some search it out. Others so desperate to find it they run across lust and mistake it. Others have been so hurt by it that they run from it like the plague. I find it Ironic that the bible says God is LOVE. Then why are others so hurt by it. I may be totally wrong about this, but when you place things and others in the position that God deserves, then of course you will be disappointed by others, it isn't the same. I hope you see what I mean. God is Love. No matter how much we as people try to love we cannot be Love. We tend to fall short constantly.

Lord, Where are you? I don't feel you and I can't seem to hear you There is so many directions to take and all of them hurt someone else. No matter what, I get hurt in the process. I stare at your stars, your creation. They dance in the sky without a care. I was that way once. Trusting you with my every step and seeking you like a pearl in the sand. Where have I gone and who is this I see staring back at me. I see traces of that faith-filled girl but only peices. I cry out in this desert land for a peaceful answer. Silence is all I ever hear. Am I knkow asking the right question? How can I get you to answer me. Please Lord I want you, all of you. Somehow the answer I seek is just you. I want there to be more but it comes back to you! Seek you! I want to be willing to give up everything for you. I am not Sure how to do that anymore. It seems so long ago. I try and I try and I try yet your spirit tells me not to and just sit and wait on you. Show me how to hear you again show me ...

There is a sense of Guilt that rests on me and somedays its worse than others. The guilt of leaving, the one who was saved. The one that didn't have to have a hard life or have to get hurt as a kid to understand and pain. I may not have walked though it all but not until yesterday did it really make sense to me. Talking with one of those I left behind and explaining the the pressure I feel she pointed out that every one of them I unwillfully left needed/needs me to have the strength to be strong so that they can make it. I see that today, in an effort to change my view. They know I didn't chosse to leave them, they know it was for a good reason. They see, I want to be around, they see, I want them. Its hard for others to see this need for their love in my life. After talking with her and sharing my heart I believe that my eyes mow can begin to see it in a new way. I don't want to question the source or the reason any more. I just want us to be together and grow together. So...