The Sweet Sting

As I lay here in my favorite part of the day, when little ones have drifted off to sleep and other ones are settling in for the night. There comes a peace over me that I can only describe as different. I know that I have felt its sweet sting and I know that I loose it in the hustle and bustle of everyday activities but in the still of the night it rises and I feel it stronger every day. I know that it is hurtful at times and I dread it most of the time but it is something that at this time in my life, no matter how much I pray and try to push it away it seems to almost become a reassurance that I am still moving on. Others feel it and that is one of the only things that brings me comfort when it is near. Whether it be a child at school, a married woman, a mother, or a teenager. In the still of the night it lingers in the halls and sometimes you hear it with tears. I seem to cry myself to sleep with it as it holds my hands. It is a friend to some and a foe to those who don't understand its worth. Loneliness is a tool I believe that God uses to draw us unto himself. I know that in my life and especially lately, those who know me best see me wearing it as a crown. I know that it may seem odd to some and sad to others but I believe it is what God has at this time to make me more like Him. It says in His word in Ps. 68:6-"God sets the lonely in families..." That is a promise that I hold on to daily. I know that God is moving and so I have to believe that he knows whats best. It isn't always easy and believe me it never feels good walking through it but I know that I want to come out as pure gold. If this is what is required for me to walk out of the fire and show myself to be, then I rejoice in the purging of HIS flames. Thank you Jesus that you are my father and my friend. I know that you always have my BEST in mind, even though it doesn't feel like it. Lord, Please Hast the day when my faith shall be sight. But as for tonight I will go and let the sweet sting of loneliness comfort me like a friend.

Comments

Sarah Markley said…
I love you, T, and don't want you to be lonely.
August 14, 2007 at 5:54 AM
Anonymous said…
Good for people to know.
November 11, 2008 at 4:43 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Perseverance vs. Endurance

Image
Endurance is something I normally associate with sports, but really in the bible endurance is something that is to wait out the storm to wait it out and know that things will change. Waiting for things to change but just sitting back and riding out the storm. I have endured a lot of things but what does that really show about my character? Nothing except that I know how to wait things out sometimes. That I can sit back and ride the wave, or have a bit of patience for things to change. Although endurance is good in sports and beneficial when you need to wait on something, it isn't what defines character. It isn't what makes good stories. Who wants to sit and listen to someone tell you a story about them sitting and waiting for things to change, who wants to tell a story like that? I sure don't. When I tell a story I want it to be a good story but Epic stories like the Titanic come from something other than endurance. If those people on the boat would have done nothing but en
Read more

Warring further still...

Image
Knowing that this season in my life is where it should be is probably easier to accept, than for me to accept the truths of what God Himself has spoken to me about the future. I will tell you that what I am walking through is difficult and hard, but what God has spoken to me is even harder. Not because it will be painful, although I am sure it will be at times, but because of the reality and gravity of what it is. I am in a season of prepping, I believe, in my life for the next season of living out what I know God has said. He has given me direction in many areas of my life and yet I am in this waiting game. Tonight I was reminded that as Jesus had the cross before Him, those hours in the garden right before were necessary. He needed to go and seek the face of His Father. He needed to go further still. (Matt. 26:38-39) He wrestled with the dread for the task He was about to undertake. I know that God isn't asking us to take on all the sins of the world for all the ages ever to be,
Read more

1 Thes. 5:16-18

Image
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes. 5:16-18 NIV How simple are these three verses and yet we think that there is so much more we need to do, for us to be in God's will. We take them in and let them out so easily. As if God CAN'T want something so simple, He is a BIG God and so He MUST want something BIG. This is a lie. We run around in circles trying to figure out the will of God and yet we can't seem to find it because we are looking in the WRONG direction. We hear God, We MOVE, and then leave God in the dust because He made a turn and we didn't hear him because we didn't STOP and ask. God doesn't change, His plans for us don't change, YET we seem to think that He is the one that changes when we head in the wrong direction. We blame Him for ditching us and not telling us when to move, when REALLY it is us who didn't stop and ask for a new direction.
Read more