Unapologetically and Honestly Loving Others with Reckless Abandon

"When you think you've hit the bottomAnd the bottom gives wayAnd you fall into a darknessNo words can explainAnd you don't know how you make it out aliveJesus will meet you there.When the doctor says, "I'm sorry,We don't know what else to do."And you're looking at your familyWondering how they'll make it through...Whatever road this life takes you down,Jesus will meet you there.He knows the way to wherever you areHe knows the way to the depths of your heartHe knows the way cuz he's already beenWhere you're goingJesus will meet you there.When the jury says; Guilty; And the prison doors closeWhen the one you love says nothing,Just packs up and goesWhen the sunlight comes and your world's still dark, Jesus will meet you there.When you've failed again and all yourSecond chances have been usedAnd the heavy weight of guilt and shameIs crushing down on you...And all you have is one last cry for helpJesus will meet you there.He knows the w

"I am broken, I am bleeding, I'm scared and I'm confused, but You are faithful. Yes You are faithful. I am weary, unbelieving. God please help my unbelief! Cuz You are faithful. Yes You are faithful. I will proclaim it to the world. I will declare it to my heart And sing it when the sun is shining. I will scream it in the dark. You are faithful! You are faithful! When you give and when You take away, even then still Your name is faithful! You are faithful! And with everything inside of me, I am choosing to believe You are faithful. I am waiting for the rescue that I know is sure to come, cuz You are faithful. Yes You are faithful. I've dropped anchor in Your promises, and I am holding on, cuz You are faithful. God You are faithful. I will proclaim it to the world. I will declare it to my heart And sing it when the sun is shining. I will scream it in the dark. You are faithful! You are faithful! When you give and when You take away, even then still Your name is faithful

1st Peter 4:12-19 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed . If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And If it is hard for the righteous to be saved what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? So then those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." I must say that aft

As I sit at work, I can look out the window and the view I have is of two rows of Palm Trees. I love those trees, and not just because they remind me of Hawaii, which is a bonus, but because they are a symbol to me. They represent flexibility and strength. Here in So. Cal. you don't always get to see the amazing ability they have to bend and NOT break unless the Santa Ana Winds are here but even at that it isn't as impressive until you see it in wind such as a hurricane. But things like that aren't the daily routine so many of us will never see it first hand. You are probably wondering why I picked such different things. A Dandelion to me is something I think of when I think of Missionary Workers. They are called to be salt and light everywhere they go, SO are we but track with me here for a second. Ok so if they are called to move and travel to share the "Good News" of Jesus, then they can't be tied down and have BIG roots dragging everywhere. God may call t

Although, Faith is a foundational truth it has also been coming up alot in my daily life, as something that needs to increase in me and in others. There are things that God has promised each of us and I know that sometimes it may seem like you have been praying for something that God isn't hearing you on, but not always is that the case. There is a TIME and a place for EVERYTHING. I believe that eventhough it may SEEM like the right time, there may be one or two or ten things that need adjusting. Are you willing to wait for your promises or are you willing to throw them away on account of them not happening in YOUR time? Are you wanting it RIGHT NOW or are you willing to wait so that the timing is SWEETER than it ever could have been before? In this immediately world we live in, are you willing to wait on GOD? This is harder than it may seem, especially when the things that God has promised you are GOOD things and will change your world around you, are you willing to wait for the p

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thes. 5:16-18 NIV How simple are these three verses and yet we think that there is so much more we need to do, for us to be in God's will. We take them in and let them out so easily. As if God CAN'T want something so simple, He is a BIG God and so He MUST want something BIG. This is a lie. We run around in circles trying to figure out the will of God and yet we can't seem to find it because we are looking in the WRONG direction. We hear God, We MOVE, and then leave God in the dust because He made a turn and we didn't hear him because we didn't STOP and ask. God doesn't change, His plans for us don't change, YET we seem to think that He is the one that changes when we head in the wrong direction. We blame Him for ditching us and not telling us when to move, when REALLY it is us who didn't stop and ask for a new direction.

I am NOT a list maker, I am not a BIG Goal setter. I enjoy life as it comes and I try to prayerfully enter every decision, the key word here is TRY. So last week when we were in our womens bible study, I found it interesting that they were talking about what they do to try and stay focused on praying. To try and not get distracted and I just found it so fascinating that these Godly women made lists while they were in prayer. I am not here to tell you if that is right or wrong I am just here to ask a question and for you to seek God on the answer. So my question is, if you get distracted and want to remember things, but are in a time of prayer, should you make a list OR ask God to bring back to YOUR rememberance the things you need to do, get or anything else that distracts you from His Presence? If that isn't clear let me show you. My mom is a definite list maker she writes things down so she doesn't forget to do them, doesn't forget things at the grocery store and this usu

" He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Col. 1:17 This is the sum of my life. Nothing I do can make my life work. Nothing I do can make myself change, and nothing I do can make creativity flow. The only way for that to happen is for God to go before me and prepare the way. I know that this verse holds true in my life and in all I do. I hope it blesses you today! Thank you Father for YOUR WORD!

So, Thursday night I was up way too late, yet because of my obedience God is always faithful in the midst of that. I was up to spend time in my word and to share my heart with MY creator. This question about the Levites not getting land and why has been bugging me. I knew why and I could explain it but I couldn't find the reference so last night was my time to seek. It was about seeking His heart and not finding the answer, yet in His faithfulness, that is what he is and does. So the answer starts in Genesis 34 with the story of Dinah and Shechem. "And Dinah the daughter of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her. And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel. And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife. And Jacob heard tha

I was getting ready to go to sleep at this hour as others are peacefully resting and there like a faithful friend, God speaks in his infinite wisdom for me to write. So here I am... Have you ever thought about the difference between Liberty and Freedom? Why is freedom something we take advantage of? Why is liberty not used unless describing something you do, like "I took the liberty of..."? I have never claimed to have all the answers but maybe this will atleast be thought provoking. I believe that Liberty is something you take, it is ground that we tread on to accomplish something. Whether it be the liberty of taking the trash out before being asked to, or getting someone a glass of water. I believe it all comes from taking something by choice. Ok so we have taking something by choice but what about something that is given to you. Freedom is fought for by our amazing faithful soldiers and yet freedom doesn't seem to be taken it seems to be given. Liberty seems to be take

"Well, I was eight years old when I decided to follow Jesus I started down that road Somebody told me that this path that leads to heaven Will not be the easy way Well I found that to be true Oh, but I also found, I found out there's CHORUS No better place on earth than the road that leads to heaven No other place I'd rather be No better place on earth than the road that leads to heaven No better place to be Now I know this road has a final destination But I also know that if we're only looking for the prize that's waiting We'll miss so much along the way 'Cause Jesus came to bring us life in the here and now And to show us that there's CHORUS No better place on earth than the road that leads to heaven No other place I'd rather be No better place on earth than the road that leads to heaven No better place to be BRIDGE I know this path we travel on Is very straight and narrow But I've looked down other roads along the way And from all I've se

Being younger and knowing that one day I would meet other people who shared apart of who I am, always made me excited to see what God was going to do in my life. Not knowing what was really in my heart. But I know that this life is WAY to short and that it isn't always nice, even if you are. I know that hearing what the world says about you ISN'T WHO YOU ARE unless you let it be. I did for a long time and it required me to see that I was doing that to change. You don't have to live down to their expectations of you. No matter who is telling you that. Learning how to break free from other people's underestimations of you is something that I am daily retraining my brain how to do. I know that this may seem weird coming from someone like me but I have always had a violent rebelliousness about me, as a young child it was a good thing because I violently rebelled against the enemy. Yet when I got older it became a violent rebellion against "THE CHURCH". I never STO

This past week I have walked with some friends through so very hard things and the thing that I am reminded of the most is...Jesus is where it all starts, and you HAVE to recognize that. He will change you and He will allow you to be who you need to be in Him. I just recently got some very difficult news and considering it was WAY bigger than I am I went and got Godly advice. The best advice I got in how to deal with it was, "It all starts at the cross, to find others, you have to intersect at the cross." Thank you for the advice because that goes for anything. When you are looking to change or see others change it all starts with refocusing your eyes on the Cross and admitting that you need to start changing first. Until this is recognized, nothing else will work. Jesus HAS to be where your focus lies and Jesus HAS to be where YOU Yourself begin to change. No family, friendship, relationship, or marriage will work without this humbling self examination and recognition. There

I am not sure if you have sisters but I have alot. I am not talking about sisters in Christ, I am talking about clothes sharing/fighting, bathroom stealing, yelling, screaming, loving, laughing, arguing, hitting, hugging, favor picking, mean word throwing, lovable, hateable, irritating, beautiful, Godly, annoying, but mostly family sisters. I have 3 biological sisters, one adopted sister, and one stand-in sister. I think that brings my total up to 5. All of them are beautiful in their own ways. One of them I don't know at all. I am not even sure she wants anything to do with me, in fact I am pretty sure she doesn't. So really lets focus on the other 4. Now if I were to really count how many of my closest friends are like sisters in that they have poured into my life and lovingly allowed me to pour into theirs I think the total is more than I have fingers. I love them all dearly and yet today I want to talk about these 4 and what they represent to me. I will name them and I will

I have always felt a sense of being out of place and if you read my previous post that partly was because of the questions, I also believe that it was because I had to have questions for another part of my story to come true. I have to warn you that this isn't going to be in order because there are way too many aspects of my life that are all connected so I am going as I am directed... As these questions progressed in my ears, I grew more curious. I knew that I needed to begin to seek out my family even if I ended up with a dead end, or problems. See in my mind when I was younger I wanted to wait until I was married and not living in my parents house to find my family, just in case there was some problems, but God had other things in store. When I was in the summer before me entering my Esthetics class, I had this very STRONG desire to seek my family out. I had heard one time that when you make BIG choices in your life you should take a week before making a BIG purchase or making

My friend asked me the other day if I was going to start to write my testimony out on here. Well I decided that I think it may be time for certain things. I know that I have eluded to certain aspects of my life and I am not sure what you know or don’t know about me but I will tell you what I believe I need to share. Other things will be left for later, a book or other things I will write. So here is the first of many about me. I am adopted and as a young girl, I mean 2, 3, and 4 years old. I struggled with many questions. Who I looked like and who I talked like, why I reacted the way I did and who’s smile I had. Although I had an amazing childhood and was definitely allowed to have a childhood, which I am very aware that others were not afforded these necessary and simple luxuries I was allowed well into my teen years. These questions, I am aware, are not your typical questions but not having anything to go on other than my mom telling me that I was special, that her, my dad and

Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down. It can come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and people. You just get back up and move along. You can’t allow it to keep you down forever. You will have to get up and fight. I have been the walking wounded for some time now and I know that things are painful and you loose those that you love, you loose people that you care about and its always good to know how strong you really are. These are things that we need to be reminded of often. It isn’t so hard to see your own strength when things are good, it takes those times that you are literally the walking wounded to see how much strength you have and how you can grow from it. Like Job we have to love God even when it hurts. Love is never easy but it is always the better way. Just keep in mind that Love never lets you down, People do!!! In my bible is says God is Love, and so because of that, you have to know that He does NOT disappoint, because He knows what is best for us. One of my favo

If I am over being single and I am over having to walk onto the dance floor at a wedding because I am 1 of 5 single girls there, and yet if I am wanting God’s best and not my own and I am wanting to do things His way, and willing to wait for His Perfect mate…Then the question really is why am I OVER it if HE isn’t? Why am I DONE with something that HE isn’t done doing in me? Why do I think I know better than He does for my life? And REALLY am I over IT or am I over myself? What is the underlining question here? What am I really tired of? Because to be perfectly honest, when I take a step back and really EXAMINE everything I do like my life, I like my freedom and I like the way that I can be flexible and give of my time unlike someone who is married and can’t as freely as I am able to at this point in my life. I am able to stay up all night at a Lock-in so that the Youth at my church will be blessed. I am able to babysit the girls that I love so much whenever necessary because the time

I know that it has been a while since I have actually allowed my heart to be opened to writing again. So here we go...What is the difference between Apathy and Gold? How is it that they can even be compared, when one is an attitude and one is a tangible substance. Well let me show you. It may not seem like it but its funny how apathy comes in, makes a home and begins to bleed in to other areas in life. If you let it run its course, it WILL kill you slowly but definitely will end in death. I want to say that this is coming from personal experience and I want to call it what it is so that it has NO MORE power. I was hurt to my core and accused of some pretty awful things a few months ago, I have been trying to nurse my wounds and move on but it just hasn't seemed possible. I have wanted to be victorious and yet this seed of Apathy remained. It was the voice that said it was ok to allow your self to feel self pity and sit in it for a while. Although Ps . 1 says Blessed is he who does

I know that it is really hard at times to hear things about you that you don't like and already know. I know that when someone points out the hard things in us we have two choices. We can get bitter and not allow some of those changes to make us better. OR we can take what they say, separate it out and allow only the things that will make us better, make their way into our hearts and soul. Recently this happened to me and I have been struggling with how to decipher between what is truth and what isn't. I am a firm believer that God has a plan in EVERYTHING and that He allows us to be hurt so that He can make us into who HE designed for us. I believe that he ALLOWS those things to make us more like Him. We have to allow that change to happen though. We can resist but that just makes it harder. I know for me I don't want to miss ANY opportunities for Christ's Love to flow from me. Now that isn't to say I haven't done that, but I don't want to EVER choose that

I know that it has been awhile and so I thought I would give some time to sharing with you what has been going on with me and how things are changing in me. I am relearning to live as ME. I have always been that way to an extent and I have always tried to not allow things others say dictate my choices, especially the older that I get and I work at not allowing them to make me try and have to be anyone other than EXACTLY who God made me to be. But lately it has been brought out to my attention that I have been trying to be someone that others have convinced me for years I HAVE to be. That simply isn’t true. All I can do is be true to who I am and who God has made me to be. I have to be honest with myself and allow God to direct me. The other day my dad was talking about how we make plans and they don’t seem to go the same way that we had planned. I know that something we KNOW what we are to do and yet our plans don’t seem to work. But it is only when we truly let go of what we want that

The past few days I have been reminded of how often God speaks and desires us to listen and yet we often mistake that for ourselves or outer noise. Well I have been desiring for God to speak more to me and so I spoke the same words Samuel did as a child. "Speak to me Lord, for your servant is listening." WOW!!! Talk about opening the flood gates of Heaven. I think as I did that something in MY spirit broke and was able to hear more clearly what to listen for. I have learned that when my spirit is silent and when I have one ear to the Lord in all I do, that is when I can hear him more clearly. Now sometimes it takes more than asking once, sometimes you have to pursue it and continue to ask and push through the struggle. And yet other times there is this grace that flows down from Heaven that is given to me just at the right time. I want you to know that even now I am attentive to what you need to hear and so I am being as obedient as possible to write out His very Heart for YO