Expectations
So how can you draw strength from God when you feel like you don't even have the strength to ask? This has been a puzzling question for me lately because not having enough strength to make it to the next breathe, that is something I am learning well. I have thought many times before this day that I was definitely at the end of my rope. Yet I endured more and life went on even when I was in the midst of pain. Then things would be easy for a while and then again, hit with more pain. I would feel at the end of myself again and then again I would still go on. This has been my life cycle for the past few years. When God desires to birth something through you and he desires to allow you to walk out your dreams, you come to the end of yourself ALOT! And I mean ALOT!!! These past few years have truly been a roller coaster that I have many times wanted to halt just to catch my breath but that isn't how life works. You endure something and you have to find the moments in that storm to catch your breathe. Sometimes it is longer than others and sometimes it is a brief moment to literally catch your breathe and dive right back in. Those are moments I am guessing none of us do very well. I am learning how to more and more see those moments as relief but never REST! Its as if you are in the ocean but the waves are crashing on you from both sides. As one hits you the next one is coming from the other direction. My friend had a dream about this so long ago that I was on the shore and she was in the water. I was telling her to duck every time a wave was about to hit her but they were from both sides coming at her. I know that may seem weird but if you ever get the chance to hear the whole story of our ministry you will understand this more completely. So back to the storm, if you find yourself in this place just remember that you are not alone and that God is working the things out of you that need to be gone so you can take on your promised land. I just want you to know that as you encounter these the storms only seem to get bigger and stronger. But that is just a way for God to show you how much Bigger and stronger he is than your storm. That is really the whole purpose of this life anyway. To see how much we can trust him even when things seem against you. Believe me when I say I understand. I have encountered many a giants in these times of my life. Especially now that I am tugging on heaven to open the flood gates so that we can fully walk into our promised land. I say that confidently because that just means that everyday I endure means one less day to have to wait for it. My strength was taken from me this past week again like before but this time in my crying out to God I believe a shift happened. I believe that God not only heard my cry but he set in motion the things that we have been calling out to him so long for. I believe that even though things seem really dark right now and I feel as though God isn't hearing me, I know that he is and that the stuff going on behind the scenes is only so that everything is ready at once. As we approach thanksgiving this next week I want to remember that even the bad stuff in my life I need to be thankful for. I wouldn't be who God wants and needs me to be without it and I know that as I thank him for it, things will begin to happen. This week was such a dark time for me, I felt as if my life had come to an end. I was ready to throw in the towel and just give up, yet hope remained. I cried out for my family, for my friends, for the lives that Jesus wants to touch because of me, and there it was. HOPE! Just like a faithful friend in the night, HOPE-the expectation of future good! It was calling out to me, don't give up or give in. Remain and I will make sure that your promises are fulfilled. Remember that I am here to show you that this isn't over yet. God has things in store for you that you couldn't ever even imagine. Well here I am still holding on to the smallest part of that amazing thing, HOPE! Don't ever let your circumstances, your family or your friends tell you something is hopeless. Because where hopelessness is there is death. But Christ came to bring life, and that more abundantly. So the next time you begin to doubt, remember that HOPE is there cheering you on. Thank you Jesus for the expectation of future good!
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