Sisters-can't live with or without them

I am not sure if you have sisters but I have alot. I am not talking about sisters in Christ, I am talking about clothes sharing/fighting, bathroom stealing, yelling, screaming, loving, laughing, arguing, hitting, hugging, favor picking, mean word throwing, lovable, hateable, irritating, beautiful, Godly, annoying, but mostly family sisters. I have 3 biological sisters, one adopted sister, and one stand-in sister. I think that brings my total up to 5. All of them are beautiful in their own ways. One of them I don't know at all. I am not even sure she wants anything to do with me, in fact I am pretty sure she doesn't. So really lets focus on the other 4. Now if I were to really count how many of my closest friends are like sisters in that they have poured into my life and lovingly allowed me to pour into theirs I think the total is more than I have fingers. I love them all dearly and yet today I want to talk about these 4 and what they represent to me. I will name them and I will do my best (if this blogger thing will let me) to allow you to see them as the beautiful women they are...First lets start with my Beautiful Hawaiian sister Leilani...

She is beautiful both inside and out, sweet, loving, generous, giving, caring, precious, Godly, and loves me even with all my craziness. On my Birth Fathers side she was the first sibling I talked to and that was a huge deal for us both. For her, she had lived her life not knowing about me or even thinking that I existed, and then when I showed up in her life almost 5 years ago now, things were different than they are now. She didn't want to have anything to do with me. She was angry and really thought I was out to get something from the family. God made his first move. The day my Birth Father had talked to me he told me about her and that we should be close and see each other. So after our endearing conversation, I called her. Now I had no expectations or anything, I just called, not realizing that I could have been a threat to her. I remember it as clear as day our conversation. I called her and told her that I was her older sister and that I just got off the phone with our Father and that we should meet. I didn't know it until later that she had previously had issues with me and there was no way for me to know by the sound of her voice on the phone. I offered to meet her whenever she was comfortable with that and she insisted that we meet the next day. I was game so we did. See up until the moment that she heard my voice she wanted NOTHING to do with me. This is so God because if I would have even thought about it for a second I would have hesitated and probably not called but I didn't so when I did, God broke something in her that she didn't know could be broken, or maybe didn't even want it to be. From that day on, there is a deep connection that we share, and I love it. We often talk about how we missed so much time, that we don't want to miss more. We do what we can and enjoy the time we have together. I love her so deeply and now I can't imagine my life without her. There is just certain things she understands about me that no one else really gets. She loves me because I am her sister and I take care of her and our younger brother the best I can. I run my mouth in advice, even unsolicited, but she loves me anyway. I give her my thoughts and tell her the truth and not always in the most gentle way, but she loves me and I love that through OUR story God can show His faithfulness. She knows Jesus and loves Him like I do. That is such a TREASURE to me and I am so proud of her. I am blessed to have a sister who understands my Love for Jesus, even without words. In Hawaiian, Leilani means heavenly flower, and that is what she has been to me, a sign of Hope a way that Jesus wants to bless our lives even if we didn't know it existed. I love you Sister!!!

This is Mandee Rae, She is so special to me. I love her dearly, I don't get to see her as much as I would like to, but we talk and just love each other even at a distance. She has loved me and thought about me my whole life. She is from my Birth Mothers side and she is protective of me and just loves me with all that she is. We both have very cheerful spirits and I know that to her I get to be the baby sister. With Leilani, I always feel responsible for her. I know that I don't need to be but its in me to protect her and be HER big sister, so with Mandee it is a relief to be able to let her do that for me. She does and I know she does, even without us talking everyday. Our hearts are linked in a different way. She loves me as I am, mess and all and yet will allow me to grow, move and change to be who God wants me to be. The day after I talked to my Birth Mother, I called my sister Mandee at work. There were no tears just joy and laughter. It was so great. My heart had connected to hers in a new way. She had been waiting for this day her whole life and if had finally come. I was so blessed and I was glad that she had looked forward to it as well. I will never forget that conversation. Like I said it was definitely different from my conversation with Leilani, in that she knew I existed and was just waiting on the right time to see me again. I talked with her for a while and then spoke with my older brother Jason, He was the one that cried. I will tell you about him and the other boys another time. That was a great day. To give you a time frame, I spoke with my Birth Mother, the next day I spoke with Mandee. In the next few months, that is when I found and met Leilani. I told you this wouldn't be in order. I was just blessed that both of my sisters knew Jesus. I was blessed that not only did they know Him they loved Him and did what they could to walk with Him. Mandee represents forgiveness. Eventhough our past follows us, there is forgiveness. The way that God allowed me to be brought into this world was very sinful and yet He allowed forgiveness to shine more than the action. God is faithful to forgive you of EVERYTHING you have done, NO MATTER WHAT!!! This was another amazing answered prayer. I love you Sis!!!

This is my replacement sister, Tiffany. You have to understand, first, being Hawaiian EVERYONE is family over there. AND God really replaced my sister Mandee, for Tiffany while I grew up. God knew what I needed more than I did. Tiffany was my best friend and my stand in older sister. Now she lived next door to me for 9 years and I am sure that I annoyed her and was the third wheel, clingy and all the other things you can think of but that was me. Anything she said was truth, and NO ONE not even my mom could convince me otherwise. I always tried to please her and make her want to be around me more. I don't honestly remember my life without her. I don't think that ever really happened. She was the only friend I thought I needed. None of my other friends or family compared to her and that caused problems for me but I will share that later. When we were small we pretty much did everything together. My mom watched her and Chad (sometimes, when he would let her) while their parents worked and Tiffany and I had plenty of locked in garages with no electricity (thanks for THAT, you KNOW who you are), getting chased around the house, getting caught by her dad for staying up too late when we were surfing in the family room, talking in our sleep moments, fighting and me saying "We should pray" and her getting frustrated at me moments. We have lots of those but none of those take away from the sleepy tears cried over a boy, the breakup shopping spree my mom sent us on, the times where we just laid and talked, or the moments we get now. We don't get alot of them and I am honored when we do, but that is what makes us sisters. I learned A LOT from her, how to stand up for myself, to speak my mind when it is important, how to be a better friend and tell my friends the truth, how to not be the kind of person who ALWAYS says what they want to hear but what they NEED to hear, who loves unconditionally their family and friends, and someone who knows me and can feel my heart even when they are literally thousands of miles away. Tiffany represents grace in my life. God knew that plucking me from my family meant that I needed to have replacements and SHE is the grace given me. No matter how far we are from each other, no one can replace who she is to me, and I for her. I love you Tiff!! If God had to replace Mandee, I am glad you were the one chosen, I wouldn't have made it without you. I love you!!!

Finally, my love, my heart, my sister Tara. I want to tell you that she is amazing in every way. She is brilliant, smart, organized, beautiful, witty, cleaver, challenging, generous, loving, honest, truthful, forgiving, wonderful, goofy, funny, silly, crazy, a lover of Jesus, and most importantly, the one who understands all of me the best. I know I have said that about all of them, but Tara knows because we have lived together for practically 27 years, give or take a few. This beautiful girl you see here is a trooper. I didn't hurt my other sisters, like I hurt this one, and yet she loves me. I was mean and rude, and down right ugly to her, and she loves me. I loved my sister Tara for as long as she has been alive. I remember clearly that when we found out that she had been born, and born a month early, we went to the hospital. Although I was three I thought I was MUCH older, and that I would be allowed to see her. When they wouldn't let me in the neonatal unit I threw a FIT!! Imagine standing back in a hospital waiting room and seeing this little 3 year old girl in purple leotard, purple tights and a pink tutu. That was me, thinking I was a ballerina and being ever so sweet, until the hammer dropped and they told me I couldn't go, I threw a fit like no other. I remember my grandmother picking me up and trying to drag me out of the hospital, I was kicking, biting, hitting, the whole works so that I could get out of her arms and go with my parents. I wanted to see MY sister. Who were they anyways, she was MINE!!! So we proceeded out side to the courtyard where I could get as far away from my grandmother as possible, and I did, although far enough at three is where she is just little enough to still see her. So thus began my new life as a big sister to Tara. I even remember I had an opinion about her name. Well time went on and the more fun I had with her. She was like my little doll, that was until she could actually move away from me. I loved her and yet she always wanted to be with me and I didn't always want to be with her. Well I know that is normal but I loved her so much too that I was torn. Well we began to share a room and things were good, and then we moved. It was alright after that but it got a little harder. partly because I wanted to have her around and want to be around me more, yet I didn't make time for her. We started fighting and I started coping an attitude because I was getting to be a teenager, then we still loved each other and depending on who we were fighting with we were on the opposite team most of the time. If we both saw things the same way then we were fighting together against our parents. Now usually in our play fighting it with Brian now but back then things were intense. I graduated, things in my life went sour, by MY doing not anyone else, and we grew more apart. Tara would always protect and defend me if she could and it was something good, she didn't like anyone who was mean to me and didn't like anyone that would have hurt me, that I am grateful for. She stood up for me alot of times when I needed it. But when I turned 20 and MY LIFE was spinning out of control, the worst thing I could do to hurt my sister and make her not trust me, was to hurt our parents. I was awful, fortunately God STILL had His hand on me and brought me through that. I do want you to know that now God is healing and restoring our relationship to "BETTER THAN BEFORE" remember that was His promise to me. God is faithful to do exceedingly, abundantly above ALL we could ask or think and this is truly a story of that. Tara represents God's Faithfulness in Restoration. God desires for us to have a restored relationship with Him and others. Tara has beautifully taught me that. She represents that to me more than anyone else I know... I love you SISSY with all my heart, thank you for forgiving me, loving me, and allowing yourself to see me differently. I am so sorry for ALL the stuff I did to you and thank you for being YOU!!! I know that without you, I COULDN'T be ALL God wants from me. You have taught me so much and I look forward to our futures. I truly love you with every ounce of who I am and sissy, I am glad that with the mighty ducks and eveything else, you and I are on the same page.

I love each one of them, and have different relationships with them all, but the only reason this is amazing is because this is CHRIST'S story for us. He desires relationship with us, He desires to have a closeness with us in a way that NO ONE else understands. And as much as I love each of these girls and SO many others, Jesus loves them more. Thank you for sharing a part of my heart with me and I hope you remember to thank Jesus everyday for the sisters you have. Whether they are IN CHRIST or family.

Who can I bless today like these women have blessed me, and changed my life? Please let me not miss that opportunity.