Trust


God is calling me to a new and deeper level of Trust with him. Trust, to a point, comes easily for me. I trust you until you have done something to hurt me, or until my spirit says otherwise. But unrelenting trust isn’t something that is a natural reaction, my natural reaction is to try and figure it out. I want to confront the problem, come up with a solution and then tie it up in a pretty little bow, but how doesn’t that make me a better person? I want to be better in this specific area in my life and the only way to do that is to walk through it. I want to make plans and move forward with things and others in my life, yet HIS timing is ALWAYS PERFECT, His way is ALWAYS BETTER, and His will is ALWAYS RIGHT! I am living on a constant state of uncertainty at this time in my life. There are a ton of questions and a ton of things calling me to pay attention to them, Instead of what really matters! I am living in a constant state of, not ONLY surrender, but of constant reliability on God. I am pretty independent in a lot of areas of my life and God wants me to rely more on Him than ever before. His love for me and Jealousy for me blows my mind, the lengths he will go to, just for my attention, unbelievable. The things that I desire, he will keep me from them, until I am TOTALLY focused on Him, until I am willing to jump out of the boat and walk on water with him. He desires to consume me at all times and desires to be the ONLY desire I have. This week has been hard for me, I have wanted my attention to be taken from Him and there he is calling me back to him. He wants to meet my every desire, he wants to be the ONE thing I long for, He wants to be the man of my dreams. I know in my head that he means NO HARM to come to me, and that pain is apart of growth, my head also knows that I can trust God with the BIG and small parts of my life, yet I can’t seem to wholly lay certain things down. I do lay them down and then I think I have a better solution so I go and try and pick it back up. It is ALWAYS much to big for me to do that but I seem to. This is what I mean by needing to TRUST more in the GOD who created me, who created ALL things and let him fully have control. He knows how to drive better than I do. Lately he has entrusted new things to me and I am so excited about them and yet I want to keep him as my focus so that I don’t screw up. I know I will unintentionally, but I need to keep trying and laying things down. I want to let you see my heart, that is why I am sharing this. I have been shown something amazing that God may have for me, and yet if I am not constantly looking to him for direction, I will get off the path. I won’t turn when God wants me to, and I won’t be able to KNOW that my best interest is being protected and is beginning to flourish. I am so blessed that God has new things for me. Lord, please allow me to trust you and know that you NEVER desire to discard me. Thank you for your favor and for SPRING!!! Thank you that today is a new day of TRUST! Help me trust you in ALL areas of my life. I love you Lord!!!

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