Unapologetically and Honestly Loving Others with Reckless Abandon

Knowing that this season in my life is where it should be is probably easier to accept, than for me to accept the truths of what God Himself has spoken to me about the future. I will tell you that what I am walking through is difficult and hard, but what God has spoken to me is even harder. Not because it will be painful, although I am sure it will be at times, but because of the reality and gravity of what it is. I am in a season of prepping, I believe, in my life for the next season of living out what I know God has said. He has given me direction in many areas of my life and yet I am in this waiting game. Tonight I was reminded that as Jesus had the cross before Him, those hours in the garden right before were necessary. He needed to go and seek the face of His Father. He needed to go further still. (Matt. 26:38-39) He wrestled with the dread for the task He was about to undertake. I know that God isn't asking us to take on all the sins of the world for all the ages ever to be, ...

I heard this song at a service I went to tonight and I have to tell you that God moved on me. It is amazing. I encourage you that as you listen to this song, read the words. i have put the words up and they are on the video. Please listen to the entire song and ask God to speak to you. Ask Him to show you that He is the Great I Am! I know He will, just ask and believe He can show you.  Great I Am - New Life Worship "I wanna to be close close to your side   So heaven is real and death is a lie   I wanna hear voices of angels above   Singing as one   Hallelujah Holy Holy   God almighty Great I am   Who is worthy   None beside Thee   God Almighty   Great I Am   I wanna be near near to your heart   Loving the word hating the dark   I want to see dry bones living again   Singing as one   Chorus   Hallelujah   Holy Holy   God almighty Great I am   Who is worthy   No...

I am an all or nothing kind of person. I don't think life should be lived only half way. You can either live life to the fullest or why bother at all. This tends to be a problem for me in certain areas like washing my car. I like it super clean, and why is it that only broken sprinklers that drench your car, show up when you just had it washed? Well if I washed my car, especially myself, and something gets on it, I freak out a bit. So instead I have found it easier to not wash it. I know it looks like I don't care or that I am lazy, but the reality is, that I freak out so much in my head, I just have to leave it alone. This is the case in most parts of my life. If something is clean and it gets messed up in the slightest I just leave it alone. Sometimes this even includes my walk with the Lord. Things will be going great and then BOOM, I fall with something I have said or done, and then I just leave it to get worse. These past few years I have tried to force myself to be proact...

Last night I was listening to my music before I went to sleep and I was sad because a song came on that reminded me of something that God is working on in my life and it stung. I will tell you that I cried a bit and then I turned my head to face the Lord. I know that His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. He moves and works outside of space and time. He is a creator, not a duplicator and He loves me enough to keep me struggling so I don't lose focus on the fight. Yet when we ask our Father to show us something to keep our hope and faith alive, He does it His own way and in His own time. Well I prayed and laid it all back on Christ before I went to sleep. This morning I woke up to a glimmer of hope in my current circumstance. He was confirming something to me and blessed me by whom this message came through. My friend in New Zealand, whom I love so much and miss her and her family terribly. She was used by God for ME!!! I was floored this m...

Have you even really thought about what that statement means? What does it actually mean to be the light? Well I know we talk about that at church and teach children songs that tell them about it but really what does it mean. I have been thinking about what this means and what to share with you. I pray that what God has been showing me will help you wrestle with this question. Let's start with what light isn't and maybe that will help a little in this. If something is dark what does that mean? It just means that there is an absence of light. Some of the things I know light isn't is dark, it doesn't hide well, it doesn't leave a whole lot of room for doubt about how something looks, and it doesn't give way to fear. So with just these few thoughts I can venture to say that light exposes things for what they were. I remember being scared when I was little and I always wanted to sleep with the light on. Why? Because if I thought something was in my room in the lig...

These days I am in a new position that I have not ever been in. God has me in this place I am sure for so many different reasons and yet I catch myself at times just trying to pass the time, instead of REALLY listening to God and learning what I need to for the season I am entering. I am sitting in a VERY quiet, sleeping house trying NOT to be alone, when I know that God wants me to be SOLEY reliant on Him. He has stripped me of close friendships that have distracted me, and he has has me up late at night like usual to be the ONLY one who has my full attention. This may seem like I am complaining, but in reality I am just stating facts about my current situation. I am honored to be in this place that He is truly jealous for me and yet believe me, I wouldn't wish the pain I have had to walk through these past months on anyone, unless it was for your good. I believe that God hasn't allowed any of this to happen in vein. I will share a bit of my heart that I can see be brought for...

I know it has been a while since I have written but that is just because my life called for some major adjustments and I need a clear mind to write, so I took a bit of a break from writing. But now I am back and ready for this new year, atleast half of me is ready for this new year. The other half isn't quite sure still what day it is or what time it is. Adjusting to all these culture changes, weather changes, lifestyle changes, and emotional changes I have come to the conclusion that I am made to be in a place where the pressure of certain things just is non existent. For example, there is so much pressure in having the latest gadget and having the newest toy here and not truly knowing what being satisfied in Christ can look like, I get saddened by the way the world makes us feel driven to have to have all those things. I am so sad that we can't be satisfied enough in Christ to let all the gadgets go. I have found myself checking my phone more here than in Tonga, I feel like I...

I want to ask you a question. How close are you to Jesus? Do you hear his very heartbeat? Do you know what comes next? Do you know that even in moments of despair God cries with you, yet in the next moment when joy comes, He will rejoice with you too? There is a woman in the Bible who has desperately caught my attention. She is the one that I believe knew the Lord so intimately that she saw things even before His disciples did. And I am not talking about his mother Mary either. I am talking about the Sister to Martha and Lazarus. I am talking about that Mary. I can say that the relationship she had with Jesus and the choices she made, I want to be more like her. I want to always choose what is better. I want to be humble and close to the heart of Jesus. In Luke 10:38-42 we are introduced to Mary and her sister Martha. I am not sure why she stands out to me so much but I am sure that it is because I am more like her than Martha. I want to clarify something first. I am not saying Jesus d...

"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men." Matt 15:8&9 (Isaiah 29:13) This is a very true statement of how a lot of people and churches are here in Tonga. There is more tradition than relationship with God. They have all these rules about Sunday which seems amazing, and the fact that they honor the sabbath like that is great, but when you see everyone all dressed up in their church clothes, you can't tell who the true christians are and who aren't. Its amazing to see that everything is closed on Sundays and I mean everything except the bread shops. and And that ever one is at rest, but that is all it is to some people. Just to give you an idea, the police patrol and if a Tongan is at the Tahi (Beach) swimming on Sunday they get into trouble. The kids can't really go outside and play. They have to stay inside and rest. This is just so strange to me, but I lov...

First I want to say that I have been trying all day to upload the audio that goes with this blog but I will figure it out and add it to the page later. I hope you enjoy... Just to give you an idea about what an amazing ministry this radio is here I want to share a couple of stories with you. There is a family on the west side of the Island that heard the Bible teachings on the Radio but their reception wasn't good. Due to their hunger for the word, they built their own antenna around their house and into the trees so they can hear about Jesus. On the day of the International Prayer the radio hosted, a little girl about 6 or 7 years old called in crying and praying for the persecuted around the world. This urged many adults to also call in and pray. They realized that if a young girl can recognize the freedom they have here in the islands, they should pray more as well. These are just a couple stories from phone calls we have received. I hope you can see how important this R...

I am coming to the realization that leaving here is going to be one of the hardest things I do. I am really not looking forward to that day. I know that it is necessary in this growing time God has for me, but I am telling you that I have made great friends here. Friends who are honest, love me for just being me, and let me be silly with them. I know that going home I have friends and family that love me there and so I look forward to seeing them, but honestly if I could merge the two worlds together I would. I know God will give me the strength to make it through and I know that He has this all in His plan, but gosh, how does anyone live when there heart is split in two places? I am not sure and I am not sure how that will go, but for now, I am enjoying the Sunshine and warm weather. I am enjoying the new faces that have stolen my heart and made this trip unforgettable. I am honored and blessed that these amazing souls have welcomed me into their hearts and lives. Even if it is for a ...

God has really been drilling into my brain John chapter 10. He is the Good Shepherd and as His sheep we know His voice. I believe that God has been speaking to me about a lot of things going on and changing in me. There are things that I am confident God has said, and then things that I am not as confident about. I think due to my lack of faith or doubt, I have been needing God to confirm things He has already said. Now in my head I KNOW that I hear the voice of the Lord and I KNOW that He speaks to me, yet in certain things I hesitate to act swiftly because of the lack of faith there. He is training my ear to hear Him and Him alone. I want to make sure that I ONLY hear what He has to say to me and what He wants me to do. I want to make sure that I am doing exactly what He wants, no more and NO LESS! I want to make sure that my ear is being trained here so that when I go back home, I can carry that with me into my next adventure for the rest of my life. I want to make sure that I am co...

I think it is so funny that we sing a song about letting it rain at church and then it rains here for two days and should probably stop around Saturday or Sunday. I think it is funny because her know that we need rain here in Tonga and it is so good for it, but just like at home for me, when it rains, I get sick. I am not a fan of rain for that very reason. Maybe that is why I love the wind so much and am drawn to that. I am sitting here in the cafe, being cold for the first time in my time here and coughing like crazy. But I have to say that in some small way, it is amazing to be here even though I may not feel great. I love that God uses these times to show how great and mighty He is. :)

November 13th is a very important day for the Christian community and I hope that you were able to share in it a little bit. It is the International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church. At the radio station we had all day prayer and intercession On-Air for the persecuted across the world. We placed posters up of the people that have been affected by this. It is heart-wrenching to see these people suffer. Here at the station we had a bunch of people come in at different times and just pray together and war in a way that was totally selfless. I believe that as we join together for a cause that is totally selfless and outside of our wants and needs, God can move even more freely because we just desire for God to strengthen those people and to give them more opportunity to share Christ with others. I want to leave you with some pictures that touched my heart. I pray they touch yours too. This is a woman who went to the peaceful protesting in Egypt with her Fiance'. He told her not...

Today is the day for me to catch up on all my writing and to be able to have a bit of free time to do anything else that has lingered throughout the day. I am looking forward to this time and catching up on my writing and all. I know that God wants me to be able to enjoy the time I have left here. I am praying to see what direction I need to take once I get back and how everything God has shared with me will work out. I am excited to see what God is going to do. As I sit here in this radio station working I am reminded of God's Grace. He chooses to love me, protect me, give me things, and speak to me when He doesn't have to. I am so humbled that God wants to be apart of everything I do. This morning, I felt His excitement for the day ahead and how much He wanted to share with me. I felt like He had been waiting all night to share the morning with me, to share His heart with me, and to show me in His word the promises that He has given to me. This is going to be a great day beca...

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6 God has been speaking to me so clearly here about so many things. About my future, about current challenges, about things going on here, about a variety of subjects. He has been proving Himself as well, as I begin to trust more in Him and rely more on Him, He begins to move. Funny how we tend to think the opposite is true. We tend to think that as we do it ourselves that proves something to God that we are capable of working so that He can come in and help. That isn't what He wants for us at all. He wants for us to earnestly seek Him as we go about our daily lives so that HE and HE ALONE can accomplish what He has set for us to do. I love that He desires to use us as we FULLY RELY ON HIM. He has BIG things if we seek Him. I believe that God is steadily answering my prayers about changing me, comple...

I love when God surprises you with what He says in His word. Last night I was battling something in my own head and God VERY clearly spoke a verse to me. Now I have read this verse many times and until yesterday it was just a great verse and was nice to read. NOW it is ALIVE and has brought great peace to my soul, so I wanted to share it with you.  Habakukk 2:1-3:  I will stand at my watch    and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me,    and what answer I am to give to this complaint. [ a ] The LORD’s Answer   2   Then the LORD replied:    “Write down the revelation    and make it plain on tablets    so that a herald [ b ]  may run with it. 3  For the revelation awaits an appointed time;    it speaks of the end    and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it;    it [ c ] ...

"Lord, I saw your face last night When I looked in the sky You were smiling You told me it would be okay You would make a way In my dark times CHORUS: Every time I hear your voice Every time I feel your touch It makes me know that I can face tomorrow One more time When all my friends go away I'll be glad to say You're still near me Even when the wind blows by I feel warm inside You're so lovely CHORUS I need you, don't leave me Without you I can't survive CHORUS I know that I can face tomorrow 'Cause you will walk me through My pain and sorrow I know that I can face tomorrow One more time I can face tomorrow You can face tomorrow We can face tomorrow One more time" One more time-The Katinas If you haven't listened to this song, I suggest you do. I had someone here show me this song, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Its funny how when you hear a song, and you know the person, you can tell exactly what is in their...

I can't believe that I am half way through my trip. I am so excited to see what else God is going to do. I am blessed to see that God has so much more for me here. I have begun to spend more time with the members from my church here and I have truly fallen in love with them. I can see how years of religion has beaten them down. I am so grateful to have a pastor here who speaks the truth to them and tells them what the Bible says, no more, no less than what God says in His word. I love it and I pray that God will continue to touch lives here. So today I ask for your prayer for our Pastor, his wife who is sick in the hospital. His name is Pastor Peni Finau so if you can please lift him up and his family. Thank you! I know that God is going to move as His people pray. I pray that you are blessed today as you intercede for others that you may never meet. Thank you so much for your prayers and know that I miss you and can't wait to share what God has done here in The Kingdom of Tong...

I wanted to just share a bit of my heart with you today. God has really been drilling into me that this season for me is to get me to break free from some of the things at home that hold me back from totally doing what He needs me to do. This season is to break the records that play over and over in my head. Things like I have to do something different than what God has placed before me, that I have to be someone I am not just to make others happy. For example, I am more like Mary than Martha. Anyone who knows me for 5 seconds can figure that out, and although there is a season for working and running around, I will always choose to sit at the feet of Jesus over running around like crazy because there is so much more freedom, peace, rest, and the ability to gain wisdom when we sit in His presence. I will tell you that God is getting through to those things that I knew were there before but He just couldn't get to. The voices of others and the voices of my own flesh were just to lou...