Breaking records

I wanted to just share a bit of my heart with you today. God has really been drilling into me that this season for me is to get me to break free from some of the things at home that hold me back from totally doing what He needs me to do. This season is to break the records that play over and over in my head. Things like I have to do something different than what God has placed before me, that I have to be someone I am not just to make others happy. For example, I am more like Mary than Martha. Anyone who knows me for 5 seconds can figure that out, and although there is a season for working and running around, I will always choose to sit at the feet of Jesus over running around like crazy because there is so much more freedom, peace, rest, and the ability to gain wisdom when we sit in His presence. I will tell you that God is getting through to those things that I knew were there before but He just couldn't get to. The voices of others and the voices of my own flesh were just to loud and drilled into my head. I can say that I am more free today than I ever have been before and I am sure tomorrow it will even be better. We are always our own worst critics and for me, I know I am. I know I am not skinny, I know I am single, I know that I need to work full time, I know that I want my own place, I know that I haven't always made wise decisions, I know all of the things people love to remind me about all the time. I have already beat myself up about them for the better part of the day, before someone else reminds me that I am any or more of those things, but guess what, that isn't WHO I AM...I am His Beloved, I am His princess and I am His Bride. I am beautiful because HE makes me beautiful in HIS TIME, not yours or mine. I say these things because I struggle with thinking them about others too. I want to be free from that, I want to be free from putting a label on someone or calling them anything less than what God calls them to be. I know that we live in a fallen world and it is hard to do at times but I want to choose wiser. I want to be better to others so that God can be seen in me. I don't want to be the cause of holding someone back because of something I have labeled them as and they can't get out of that. I want people that I come in contact with to live UP TO their potential. God has never given me a name that I have had to live down to, only the enemy does that and our own flesh, but NOT God. He always gives me names I get to live UP TO. I want to be that way with people, and I believe it starts with me. I need to leave the records here in Tonga of the things I have allowed others to say about me for years and have lived down to, and live up to ONLY what God says about me. I believe that when we can change first, in our own mind we can allow others to change and live up to their potential. How can we teach others about that if we don't have personal experience? How can we help them break those records if we can't seem to break our own? Before I got here, there were many things that others called me, with or without warrant, that is the truth, but I say NO MORE! I refuse to let someone else's words sink in deep enough to change my thinking. I know that truth about who I am and God knows. That is all I care about. I refuse to let others dictate my thinking anymore. I am done living under the names that others have placed over me and required me to live under. No more. I say this so determined because I need to make sure it has sunk in to my head and heart as well. No more will I let others names for me, dictate my actions. If you think I am bad at something, keep it to yourself and instead of sharing it, pray that God changes that in me. Lets try that, instead of talking about how awful a person is with something or how we think they need to do it another way, lets pray that God helps that person do it HIS WAY. I will tell you, as you do that, things for you will change as well. I am just so grateful to have learned this and to be able to help others change what they replay in their heads. I want what God says about me, to be the only words on replay in my head. No longer will I allow the records of who I once was to replay. Those days are dead and gone, and so is that person. I pray that you hear my heart and that you find freedom in this too. Remember you become more like who you choose to listen to.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You go T! God has such great plans for us but often we don't step up to it because we believe these lies by the enemy! I love you girl and it blesses me to see what God is doing in your life!

Your home girl-J$
October 27, 2011 at 8:17 PM
Tamara Ann said…
Thanks J$!!! You rock and you bless me. I love you and miss you.

T
October 30, 2011 at 5:03 PM
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