SpeakLESS

So as life has changed in our family with the arrival of Baby Ella, some of the family dynamics have just begun to be magnified. I KNOW that I am not the greatest person to live with and I can totally annoy people because of my kick back attitude. I tend to just rely on Jesus and saying that sometimes to a planner isn't always a smart thing. Now please don't misunderstand what I am trying to say in this. I am not trying to air our dirty laundry or anything like that, but I do want you to feel comfort in this if you have a family like mine. I LOVE my family dearly and I have just come to certain realizations about them. My parents love me and desire me to be the best me I can, and I love them for it, but this can also hurt me because they want to push me to be that person instead of lead me there. My sister and I, growing up didn't get along much, but lately I have truly realized that I was the major problem in that and I am learning how to fix this. I asked the Lord the other day to give me the opportunity to be more like Him and to have a servants heart more and more as I prepare to leave. So when things are brought to me, said to me or discourage me I am trying to see how God has brought this opportunity to love others and to change my heart in this. I am not sure if this is true for you but for me, my family is used a lot in making me more like Christ. Its hard sometimes to separate that out and realize that they don't mean to hurt my feelings or do whatever has gone on but it still happens. I choose to lay down the heartache for the truth. Jesus is making me more and more like Him. I watched the passion of the Christ this weekend and saw how little Jesus said the day He died. I want to be like that. I want to say less in my defense and just be an example of love and grace to people. I want to love more and speak less. I want to take what they say and still love others. The reason I talked about some of the family dynamics because I want you to know that this doesn't come from an easy place for me, but it does come from the right place and so as God shares more of His heart for others with me, I want to share it with you. I DARE you this week to try it. I promise that others will notice your not defending yourself and you are taking their words. I am not saying to hold on to them and use them later. I am telling you to let them go and not respond at all. If you love Jesus, then HE and HE alone is your defense. Nothing more, nothing less. TRY IT!!! It will change your life and others. I will pray that you see what I am getting to see, it may be hard at first BUT try to SpeakLESS!!!

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